Sometimes the rights words are hard to find. This post makes them easier, with simple scripts for every occasion, from “thinking of you” to Valentine’s Day.
When life feels heavy or confusing, a simple note can be the kindest thing you do all week. And it doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be real.
The “Perfect Note” Formula (works every time)
If you’re stuck, use this 3-part formula:
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Name what you’re noticing
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Say what you feel (briefly)
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Offer one simple next step
Example (generic):
“I’ve been thinking about you. I’m really sorry things are hard right now. I’m here, and I’d love to drop off coffee or just listen whenever you want.”
Tip: If you’ve ever flipped through books like How to Say It, this is the same spirit: clear, kind, and specific.
Try These Note Starters
If you don’t know how to begin, start here.
Warm openers
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“I’ve been thinking about you.”
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“You were on my mind today.”
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“I wanted to reach out and say I care.”
Honest openers (for hard stuff)
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“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
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“I don’t have perfect words, but I’m here.”
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“I hate that this is happening.”
If it’s been awhile
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“I’ve been meaning to reach out. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
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“No big speech, I just miss you.”
Notes for Different Occasions
1) Sympathy / Hard Times
Keep it short. Avoid advice. Be specific.
Good lines to borrow:
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“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
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“You don’t have to respond. I just want you to feel supported.”
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“If it helps, I can ___ (bring dinner / walk the dog / run a grocery pickup).”
Mini note example:
“I’m heartbroken for you. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Even better (with a specific offer):
“I’m so sorry. I’m thinking about you. I can drop off dinner on Tuesday or Friday. Which is easier?”
2) When Your Friend Is Angry or Scared
Acknowledge reality. Don’t center yourself.
Mini note example:
“I can’t stop thinking about you and our community. I care about your safety and your heart. If you want company, I’m here.”
More options (choose one):
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“I’m thinking about you. You don’t have to carry this alone.”
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“If you want distraction, I can do that. If you want quiet, I can do that too.”
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“No pressure to reply. I just want you to feel supported.”
3) “Thinking of You” Without Prying
Sometimes you want to check in without asking for details.
Mini note options:
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“No need to explain anything. Just sending care.”
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“I’m here. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. If you don’t, I’ll still be here.”
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“I don’t know what your day looks like, but I hope it has one soft moment in it.”
4) Thank You (that doesn’t sound generic)
Name the impact.
Mini note example:
“Thank you for showing up the way you did. It made me feel less alone. I won’t forget it.”
More options:
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“Thank you for ___. It helped me ___.”
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“I noticed what you did, and it mattered.”
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“You made a hard day easier. Thank you.”
5) Congratulations
Celebrate the person, not just the milestone.
Mini note example:
“This is so you. You worked for it, you earned it, and I’m proud to know you.”
More options:
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“You did it. And you did it your way.”
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“I’m proud of you, and I hope you’re proud of you too.”
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“You earned every bit of this. I’m cheering for you.”
6) Apology (clean and sincere)
If you need to repair something, keep it simple and specific.
Mini note template:
“I’m sorry for ___. I understand how that landed. I’m working on ___. If you’re open to it, I’d like to make it right.”
Valentine’s Day Notes (simple, not cheesy)
For a Partner
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“I choose you. Still. And again.”
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“Thanks for being my safe place.”
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“I love our life, even the messy parts.”
Mini note example:
“I love you for the big reasons, and for the tiny ones like how you make ordinary days feel softer.”
For a Friend
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“You make my world better. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
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“Thanks for being the kind of friend who feels like home.”
Mini note example:
“Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m really grateful you’re in my life.”
For a Kid / Teen
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“I love who you are, not what you do.”
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“I’m always in your corner.”
Mini note example:
“I love you exactly as you are. I’m proud to be yours.”
For Yourself (yes, it counts)
“I’m allowed to take up space. I’m allowed to rest. I’m allowed to start again.”
Mini note example:
“Today I’m choosing gentleness. That counts.”
What NOT to Say (and What to Say Instead)
This is the part people always appreciate.
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Instead of: “Let me know if you need anything.”
Say: “I can bring dinner Tuesday or Friday. Which works?” -
Instead of: “Everything happens for a reason.”
Say: “I’m so sorry. I’m here with you.” -
Instead of: “At least…”
Say: “That’s really hard. I’m sorry.”
When You Want to Help but Don’t Know How
If you’re feeling helpless, pick one small action:
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Check on a neighbor
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Support local helpers (time, items, or a small donation)
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Contact your elected officials about resources that protect people and strengthen communities
A simple call script:
“Hi, I’m a constituent. I’m calling to ask for support and resources that keep people safe and strengthen our community. Please share what actions the office is taking.”
A note doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real.
Or sometimes, this is enough:
“Thinking of you. I’m here.”
